Friday, August 6, 2010

Someday You'll Forgive Me

So, I had been noticing that Preston was becoming more and more attached to his pacifier over the last couple weeks. He only uses it in bed, and in the car when we go on longer trips (where I am typically hoping he will sleep, even though he never does). On our way to San Antonio this last time I told Mike I thought we should take it away once we were home...with no long road trips or vacations coming up and his growing need for it to sleep, I knew it was time. This was only reconfirmed when he was waking up at 6am during our stay in San Antone because his little sleeping space (aka: the closet) was dark and he couldn't find it.
With that plan in place we came home and I proceeded to rationalize why I could put it off (because I HATE taking it away) I told myself I would do it when he turned 15 months (on the 13th) to give myself an extra couple weeks.
Such is the pacifier dilemma... I LOVE pacifiers!!! I encouraged all my babies to love them, the MAM ones in particular because they were the cutest in my opinion :-). When Ella was in the NICU those first few days it would make me so mad to find the big, ugly green hospital one in her mouth and I would quickly switch it for the MAM. Luckily, all three kids took to their pacifiers. One of the most exciting milestones was when they could manage to get the pacifier back in their little mouths themselves because it meant more sleep for me! All 3 have also been good about only using them in their beds too, but when it comes time to take them away I feel like the meanest mom around. The whole reason I promote the pacifier is to avoid thumb/finger sucking, giving me the control to end the attachment when needed. But of course with that power also comes the guilt that I am the one causing their little hearts to break when it is gone...and thereby making my own break too when they look up at me with their little hands up, trying to say, "where is it?" and I have to leave them in bed crying after telling them "it's all gone." (Addie's pacifier story here)
I wasn't necessarily planning to take Preston's away this morning. But then he woke up early because he had lost it at some point in the night...and then I honestly couldn't find it when I put him back in his crib for his morning nap, so I just told him it was all gone and left it at that. My poor little guy was really mad for a little while, but seems to have quieted down. I'm keep my fingers crossed that it all goes smoothly.
I know in the end it isn't that big of a deal and I know it is much easier to do it now than waiting until he is 3 and has grown WAY more attached to it, but it is still sad. Not only do I feel cruel, but it means my little baby is growing up and that makes me the saddest of all :-(.


Kirsten said...

Aww so sad! I love the magic that is the pacifier too, not looking forward to have to take it away soon!

I was telling Adam that my most favorite baby milestone was when she figured out how to put the pacifier back in all by herself...not only is it so cute to watch them do it, but you are right, it also means more sleep!

The Chrissy Herself said...

Poor lil' guy. I remember the story of Addie... "where is it? where is it?"... and look... she turned out fine. Be strong Marc!

Cheryl Joy said...

Because Mark(Mack) and I want to have babies really soon, I think about things like if I'd use pacifiers.. and I'm still not sure. I never thought of it that way- as in it keeps them from sucking on their hands and you can stop it whenever. I would definitely prefer it over thumb sucking.

Interesting post though. :) Lil Preston will forget. He is such a cutie. :)

Lindsey said...

I HATE taking them away too! It's so hard because it helps me so much to have something that calms them so easily. I am also a pro-pacifier person. Not only does it prevent thumb sucking, but especially with a new baby it can really be a great tool to help them learn to soothe themselves because that sucking reflex is so strong and is such a comfort to them. We give all our babies in the NICU pacifiers to provide comfort and positive oral stimulation amidst traumatic procedures. As much as I love them though, I dread taking them away. It's on my to-do list for Alexis too!

Heather said...

The saddest part is just what you said - that it is another reminder that they are getting older. Soo sad! i have been literally crying as I think of Parker starting kindergarten, he has been my best little buddy!

On another note - I love your book reading list - I finished The Help and it was really really good!

michele cabiness said...

I am a little jealous...I wish Lila liked her pacifier. I tried for 6 months but she hated it and every night found her thumb instead. I don't even have a clue how to begin to stop the thumb sucking.

I will say it is cute though.