February was a pretty stressful month for me and although March is sure to have some shining moments, yesterday wasn't the beginning I was hoping for. It is not that life hasn't had plenty of fun and happy moments dispersed along the way recently, it's just that for the first time I feel like instead of just being there to help others through their trials, I have my own to deal with. In the grand scheme of things it isn't even a big one probably, but to me in this moment, it consumes my every thought. I am constantly trying to figure out some other explanation, a new irresistible incentive, another change I can make to my schedule that may help and mostly, the cause of it all. Yesterday when it all decided to interrupt me right as I sat down for what I had hoped would be my nice, relaxing lunch I could physically feel myself shutting down. I couldn't even keep my composure for the 10 minutes I was really trying to while talking to the director. As I walked down the hall of the school crying and holding Addie's hand as she cried too, I definitely felt defeated. I don't know what else to do. I wasn't sure how much of an effort I was going to make to attend the Houston Women's Conference at church last night, but that afternoon I suddenly felt like I really needed to go. I was craving some sort of comfort and enlightenment. Elaine Dalton gave the talk that I needed to hear. She used the phrase "I can do hard things (in the strength of the Lord)" a few times and that is the exact thing I often say to Addie when she tells me repeatedly that "it's just hard" when she gets in trouble in school. The main message I got from her talk was that yes, there are trials and yes, we have many challenges, but we also have the gospel of Jesus Christ so we can make it through. Especially if we are doing these 4 things one-hundred percent...
1. Pray every morning and every night
2. Read in the Book of Mormon every day for at least 5 minutes
3. Be exactly obedient to the standards
4. Smile EVERY day
She also read some lyrics to the hymn I Know That My Redeemer Lives and it is one of my favorites.
"I know that my Redeemer lives.
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!...
He lives to bless me with his love.
He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed.
He lives to bless in time of need.
He lives to grant me rich supply.
He lives to guide me with his eye.
He lives to comfort me when faint.
He lives to hear my soul's complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears.
He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart.
He lives all blessings to impart.
He lives, my kind, wise heavenly Friend.
He lives and loves me to the end.
He lives and while he lives I'll sing.
He lives, my Prophet, Priest and King..."